Emmm, Easter Egg Function

Posted: 20th November 2009 by Michael in Programming

While carousing the code base I’ve been alerted of the existence of an interesting function:

public static function the_answer_to_life_the_universe_and_everything() {
    $calculation = sqrt(9) * 12;
    $calculation = pow($calculation, 2);
    $calculation = ($calculation / 4);
    $calculation = ($calculation - 4);
    $calculation = ($calculation / 10);
    $calculation = ($calculation + 10);
    return $calculation;
}

Brilliant. +2 Intelligence, +4 Charisma if you get the reference. Yes, this made my day and yes, it was worthy of a blog post.

Ultrasound: Good Stuff

Posted: 20th November 2009 by Michael in Uncategorized

Crystal had her ultra sound yesterday and my goodness was it hard for her to insist that we don’t know the sex. We’re really excited about the idea of a surprise and the minor inconvenience of not knowing, we think, we’ll be a fun surprise and experience. Now for those of you that know what I do, this next item will tickle you.

Crystal and I asked Henry what we should name the new baby. And of course, he insists it’ll be a boy because that’s what he wants. But, again, what should we name the new baby, Henry?

He replies, “Dot com”

This last Wednesday was a bit rough. To repeat my Facebook status from then: just a couple Jaeger bombs, Mario Kart, and a keg of Mac & Jack’s… at work… for lunch. Agh, lesson learned. I guess I just like to let loose sometimes. I think I am mostly disappointed I got nothing done on my side project. I spent most of yesterday attempting to feel human again.

Ugh, Monday

Posted: 9th November 2009 by Michael in Uncategorized

This is a rough morning requiring a quick jaunt to Top Pot across the street to grab a donut and coffee. I felt the oncoming headache and my tiredness was overwhelming. I had very sad ride replaying and processing the things that had transpired the night before. I miss my kids very deeply. Helen asked me to lay down with her and gave me her goofy smile. It was very cute. I obliged her for a few moments before getting up and leaving for work. I patted Henry on the head and drew the heavier comforter over him. He was sound asleep.

We watched a movie last night called Zwartboek (Black Book) which is a Dutch film about German occupied Holland; a story of Jews, the resistance, and everyone’s effort to survive. I found it to be in the same spirit as other European attempts to share snapshots of respective experiences in the war and it was quite good. I would assign this 4 out of 5 or 8 out of 10.

Our Family Potato Salad

Posted: 3rd November 2009 by Michael in Uncategorized

This family recipe has been around for a couple generations. It is my favorite recipe for potato salad.

  • 6 large potatoes
  • 3 carrots
  • 3 celery stalks
  • 1 parsnip
  • 2 pickles
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 apple
  • 1 onion
  • 1/2 cup of mayonnaise
  • 1 tablespoon mustard, Dijon
  • 1 tablespoon pepper
  • 1 tablespoon salt

First boil the potatoes, whole and unpeeled (to keep them from getting mushy), until they are done. I test them by pushing a steak knife through them. If it goes easily, they’re done. Be careful not to over cook them. Drain then in a large colander and place it in a cool place. My parents used the basement but I use outside. Do not refrigerate the potatoes to cool them off. The rapid change in temperature causes the potato to crumble in following steps.

Now trim the carrots, celery and parsnip and boil them in a similar fashion. Again, place them into a colander and let them cool. Cooling them slowly is again preferred.

Hard boil the eggs somewhere during all these steps. 10 minutes is right. Cool the eggs and peel them. Set them aside.

You want everything to be room temperature when you start this next part. Basically, we will be cubing everything into quarter inch pieces. Start with the potatoes by peeling them with a parring knife. The skins should be easy to peel off at this point. After you are done peeling them, run them through a french fry cutter. Then cut the “fries” into cubes.

Cube the vegetables into similar shapes. I wish you could use the cutter on these too… but its not recommended. Next, add the peeled and cored apple, cubed in similar fashion.

Add the salt, pepper. Mix with a fork. My mom specified a fork. My guess is that it doesn’t mush everything like a spoon would. Now add the diced hard boiled eggs, mayo and mustard. Mix with a fork. Although I like mayonnaise I like to keep it light on recipes such as these. One of my gripes about deli potato salads is that they are mostly mayo and potatoes with a little garnishing to make it look edible.

Serve or chill.

My favorite dish to use this potato salad is a Czech dish called chleb?čky. I will go into that another day.

Recipe For All: Škvarky z Sadlem

Posted: 3rd November 2009 by Michael in Uncategorized

Time for another classic recipe from my family’s past. This one is loaded with saturated fat but for those that appreciate the old world flavor this is one to jostle those culture feelers. In Czech this is know as Škvarky. The Germans have a similar type of food known as Schmaltz.

  • 2 pounds pork fat
  • 1 cup water

First, get some fresh pork fat. The label on this package called it pork skin but there was no skin attached to this side of pork belly. It is desirable to not have the skin since you would have to remove and discard it anyway. The color is white and has little to no smell. Rinse it in cold water and let it drain. There may be some pink but definitely no gray or unnatural coloring to the fat. There should be little or no pork meat on this fat. It should be firm to touch. Trim any ink stains from the meat house or any excess meat.

Fried Pork Fat

Cut the pork fat into strips one to one and a half inches wide.

Fried Pork Fat

Now cube it into the same sized pieces.

Fried Pork Fat

Put the pieces into a pot.

Fried Pork Fat

Add the water and cook at a medium high heat. You want to stir it to keep it from sticking to the bottom. If there is not enough cooked fat add some water to keep it from sticking.

Fried Pork Fat

Stir every fifteen minutes. When the fat starts to cook it will release cooked fat which will eventually fry the cubes. Add some more water until the pieces of fat start turning from white or pinkish to a brown, cooked looking color. Cover. Eventually the cooked fat will increase in volume and the pieces will become crisp. When they become a light golden brown and the frying slows down the cooking is done. You don’t want to over cook these pieces.

Fried Pork Fat

Take the pot off the burner and let the fat cool a little. You will be pouring it into another container so this part is only to prevent hot spatters. Pour the finished fat into a cooling bowl. Let it cool off slowly. Cooling it fast will cause it to solidify incorrectly. Refrigerate when the fat turns whitish in color.

Spread on true rye bread and sprinkle some salt on it or cook with it.

Our Family Risotto

Posted: 3rd November 2009 by Michael in Uncategorized
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This is one of our family’s staples. I think we had it about once a month growing up. I finally figured it out after ten years of trial and error.

  • 3 cups of white rice
  • 1 roast chicken *
  • 3 large carrots, peeled
  • 4 large celery stalks
  • 1 large yellow onion
  • 1 tablespoon salt
  • 4 chicken bullion cubes
  • 1 tablespoon pepper
  • ¼ cup Canola oil
  • ½ pound sliced bacon
  • 2½-3 cups boiling water

You will want to chop the onion, slice the bacon into half inch slices short length wise, slice the carrots, slice the celery, separate the meat from the bone making sure to remove any gristle and bones. Slice it into small pieces. You can leave the skin because usually roast chicken has some tasty seasoning on it.

Preheat the oven to 300° F.

In a large, heavy pot, bring the oil to a medium heat. We will be placing this pot covered into an oven so it needs to be oven safe. Sautê the onions in the oil. In a separate pan fry the bacon to a light crispy brown; not crunchy and hard.

Add the carrots, celery, chicken, rice, salt, pepper, and bullion cubes. You will want to gently stir the mixture until its even. Drain the bacon and add it to the pot. Once things are mixed and hot add the water. Bring this to a boil stirring frequently. Once it starts boiling place the pot covered into the oven for an hour and a half. Fluff it with a fork and put it back into the oven for another half hour to hour.

Serve immediately with a pickle on the side. To reheat place on a pan and heat slowly. You shouldn’t need to grease the pan.

A common alteration to this base recipe is to add a cup or lima beans, peas, or corn late in the recipe to keep them from breaking apart and getting mushed.

* A whole roast chicken is a substitute for turkey dinner left overs which ends up to yield about the same amount of meat.

It is a fairly easy dish to make. It may be a little plain but its good every so often. This serves between eight ten.

Sometimes I Hate It All

Posted: 1st November 2009 by Michael in Uncategorized
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Sometimes I just want to just go away. I hate everything. I am horribly bitter. What a waste of life. I’ll hang in there for my three children.

The Sister’s Birthday

Posted: 30th October 2009 by Michael in Uncategorized
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Last night we celebrated my sister’s birthday. It was really good to see her. She’s looking for work and recently had an interview at Harrison in Port Orchard (ah, the irony). We had some good laughs and the kids got to play and hang with her.

We also watched the Transformers sequal which was, in my opinion, not as good as the original movie. Some of the things that really bugged the heck out of me was the immense amount of sexual innuendo. A super robot had balls made of wrecking balls, the hot girl traveled through space time and landed missionary style on top of a guy, the college girls were all perfectly figured and preferred to wear lingerie and mini skirts; it was just too much. There were several massive plot holes, problems, and just general character stupidity. I’d give it 3 out of 5 or 5 out of 10.

I woke this morning feeling almost hung over from all the carbs. The snooze button and my body conspired against me and I ended up driving to work to get here at a reasonable time.

We watched Doomsaday a few days ago and although I found the post apocalyptic theme interesting it was just another almost comedic stroking of the horror junky’s senses. I liked the idea of city people degrading into cannibalistic punks and those in the country regressing into a Scottish keep and living off the land. It seems to agree with the idea that those living in urban ideas have completely lost touch with how to survive. But that’s it. The rest of it is shallow and partly cheesy. I gave this one 2 out of 5 or 3 out of 10.

Repo: The Genetic Opera

Posted: 30th October 2009 by Michael in Uncategorized

Let me say that I had high hopes for Repo: The Genetic Opera. I am not afraid of musicals, I love gothic themes, and it seemed to be right on track for instant cult classic. Unfortunately, the seemingly endless bad writing is only sparsely sprinkled with some memorable gems. And although the graphic goriness isn’t my cup of tea, I stomached it hoping for some sense of story that wasn’t as shallow as the Saw series who shares in having the same producer.

Sarah Brightman in Repo: The Genetic Opera

One of the few memorable scenes involved the movie’s narrator/grave robber (Terrance Zdunich), Paris Hilton’s character Amber Sweet, and the innocent Shilo Wallace played by Alexa Vega in which the grave robber was sharing his recently acquired drugs that he extracted from the dead.

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Refit Extravaganza

Posted: 23rd October 2009 by Michael in Uncategorized
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I voted, did you?

A famous scene from the 1976 film called “Network” which has caught my attention (which mow I need to borrow and watch) while watching Zeitgeist: Addendum. The first, I would say, 30 minutes of Addendum is a fairly factual explanation of our central bank system but then the entire thing fall apart into a conspiracist New World Order rant ultimately advertising The Venus Project. The movie is simply a drive for humanism attempting to illegitimate faith and truth.

If anything I’d watch it just to familiarize yourself with the way our monetary system works. Like the criticisms I have read so far, the entire Zeitgeist thing brings up good facts and things to discuss and ponder but ultimately some of the stuff is misrepresenting and the eventual collectivist solution is just more “… of the disease itself.”

I’ve been making an effort to make time to do things other than work, commute, vegetate, and sleep. I’ve had mediocre success in that some days I will spend the night playing with the kids and having dinner with them and then other days when I plop down in front of my computer and play Navy Field. Incidentally I have been able to finally purchase the heavy cruiser (CA) Admiral Hipper and then refit it to the CA Prinz Eugen. It’s been a challenge to play the Kreigsmarine (KMS) in that game in that this particular faction uses the shoot and scoot tactic a lot. Unlike the British faction which has decent armor and fire power the KMS is more distant precision strike type game play. Anyway, it has been really fun.

Not to overload you with media but here is something a little less filthy, a little less dirty, but good none the less, Betty Boo & Jack Rokka – Take Off:

I was hoping to find the “Digital Dog Dub” of that song to share but no luck. So after a while you need to watch this commentary by the folks at South Park to the Indiana Jones IV movie that came out recently. It’s fantastic and mirrors my thoughts about what Lucas and Spielberg did that that series. I realize that the subject is horrible but I and everyone at the office couldn’t help but laugh… uncomfortably.

More work has been getting done on my revamp of that troublesome web application. I’ve been meeting with people to see what all needs to get done to make it stable and secure. I think I have a pretty good grasp on the problem and how to fix it.

We’re moving into the final staging of selling our home in Bremerton. The final documents have been sent to our lender and everything appears to be lining up. The buyers are eager to buy our home and they even offered to take our cat.