This weekend Crystal and I celebrated our anniversary. We marked our seventh year of marriage. We had a really good time as my mom and sister watched the kids and we drove looking for a place to eat finally settling on Ruth’s Chris. We had a good time connecting, chatting, and really getting a chance to focus on each other. Having children limits opportunities, for us anyway, to spend time just relaxing together. The food and atmosphere were perfect for the occasion.
Yesterday I endured a lunch with my in-laws and a guest. It’s really about biting my tongue for an hour, eating, maintaining sanity with my kids, and then leaving. And it’s not because my in-laws are particularly horrible or unbearable. I just get tired of some of the things I hear. I know things are relative to everyone’s situation and that lessens the annoyance but most of the time it comes down to selfishness, delusion, and complete laziness.
The lies are probably the most irritating that are used to cover up things like what I’ve been talking about. Often people want to feel like they have this well established family that gets together for holidays yet they invest nothing into those relationships during the rest of the year. They don’t really want to get together for any other reason except when they need something.
I remember a time when Crystal and I lived our lives where they revolved around ourselves and during those times I remember thinking how little time I had to do what I loved. That never changes. We’re always busy trying to fit things into our lives. I think this is for everyone.
As I reflect on these feelings I realize that I too am guilty. I try to overcome my faults by seeing and addressing them; I wonder if there is any point in doing so. Everything truly is vanity. My silent phone and empty inbox drive home my loneliness that I deserve.